Realizing Dreams

Earlier this year, my husband shared with me an e-mail from 2003 – from the time of our engagement, covering thoughts of the life we hoped to build. We were living in different countries at the time and this served as a type of pre-marital work in the form of discussion. To be perfectly honest, I had forgotten all about these messages until he forwarded them. One of the topics was a description of a dream house – and as I read it, I was surprised to read a point by point description of the house we lived in from 2011-2015.

The first time we walked into the house, I knew we were meant to live there. It accommodated my extended family for nearly an entire week for a most magical Christmas experience and supported summertime adventures with easy access to the big lake. It was perfect in so many ways. And in 2015, we moved.

I have looked back at that house many times, wondering if it was a huge mistake to leave. During the pandemic, I have thought of the land and the space and how they would be ideal for so many hours stuck at home. With the re-read of my own e-mail, I wondered how I somehow missed the fact that I had been living in the house I had created in my dreams nearly a decade before I encountered it. I made the house and the move responsible for my feelings – giving all my power to circumstances that are neutral and beyond my control.

It was in a coaching session last month that I finally saw how my thoughts have been acting as a restraint, holding me back from being fully at home where I am now. Seeing that, instead of lamenting that I had my dream house and let it go, I can honor that I created my dream house on paper and in an eight year time span, with very minimal attention or awareness of that thought, saw that dream into reality. And that in the move was not about leaving my dream house but moving another thought into reality – discovering an educational opportunity we desired for our middle son and making his participation possible and exploring new lands for our family – living in multiple places was, too, on my dream list.

For years I have held the vision of a community wellness center – with multiple iterations on paper, proposed to health care institutions and philanthropic organizations. In 2018, I had the opportunity to serve as clinical lead of a start-up project whose mission read as a point by point description of the key aspects I had outlined in my own proposal. The moment I walked into the clinic, I knew I was meant to work there. It accommodated my extended skill set with opportunity to treat, teach, cook, move and gather for the health of all things. And in 2019, that job ended.

Because of this experience nearer to my time of coaching, I have looked back much less. I have been able to see sooner and more clearly that instead of lamenting that I had my dream job and let it go, I can honor that I created my dream job on paper and in a three year time span, with a little more attenti